Post high school weight.

The title says it all. Its a great mystery as to WHY we put on weight after high school. Doesnt make sense, its not like we graduate at 17 and are then suddenly ready for 40 year old extra baggage! The photos of me are shocking! Ive changed sooo much! so now I must try harder. It is my goal to eat better and excercise daily and gradually lose weight and be happy again.

I must however admit that the first photo, taken in november 2007 was just after my formal, which I had been getting thin due to for a year... the second photo was at our engagement party 0ctober 2008. Its well and truly time to do something about this!

Guests.

Right now I have cut the guest list from about 80 to 63. And I am super proud. especially since I know of about 3 boys and 2 girls who could leave the list without me giving it a second thought! So, my self inflicted limit of 60 guests is attainable! I had two lists. What I had in mind while writing the new guest lists was that immediate family, bridal party and long term friends of family were on list #1. The second list had people we should/would like to invite... we had 45 on list #1. It worked out rather well!

Pretty close to having decided on my wedding hair, too!

Religion.

I have some very different beliefs regarding religion than most. I once wrote a blog on myspace about my personal beliefs.
Here it is-

Religion.

My religious beliefs dont fit into any one religion. I am confusing and complicated and this is what causes alot of my inner conflicts.

I believe that Jesus and God are two seperate beings with the same purpose. I believe that they are OF one idea and reason for being but theyre two- not 'three in one' as so many churches believe. I think that 'three in one' is illogical.

I believe that RELIGION matters little. I dont care what religion someone is... they can be a jehovah's witness, mormon, muslim or Jew. If they believe in God and try to follow what he says then that is enough. Many churches have a THING against JW's in particular and it just proves that they are hypocrites. Most of the time they make uneducated comments about them anyway! Also, I love muslims and this worldwide hate for them just makes me like them more!

I dont like churches. I know I should, but I dont. They are full of flawed people. The ministers are not perfect either... and they admit it, so why should we be told by them not to gossip if they are the biggest gossips of all? I believe going to church is important- to be around people like you and for encouragement. And to give tithes etc, but I dont think that it is so important that you need to go twice a day. I also dont think that 'going to church' and 'spending time with god' can be considered the same thing or even similar. Anyone can see that.

I believe that an individuals relationship with God is private. I very much disagree with praying in groups FOR other people. My youth, when I went. used to pray in groups about an issue, or many issues, but they did not get an individual person to stand in the middle of a circle to be prayed for when they didnt ask for it. And they're pentacostal too! It is almost vulgar to insist upon praying for someone in public. This is how I think praying for people should go. If you think you need to pray with or for someone, you should go to them and tell them. Or do it by yourself, when you are praying at night- im sure god is not going to not listen to you because you are alone, instead of being in a group of 15 speaking like a motorbike.

That brings me to another issue. Speaking in tongues. I understand that it is a gift, but it is also a gift that isnt given to everyone. Therefore i believe that it is not meant to be a public thing and perhaps should only be revealed when alone or in a small group of people who know about it. My reason is that uneducated people- or young christians are not going to understand that not everyone gets to do it and they will think "oh thats what im supposed to do!" and they will mimick it. Which , i dont know about you but it seems like it would be blasphemy or something to me. Also, some may think 'its not about what other people think, but isnt it our job to tell people about God? well what sort of job would we be doing if we told them but then damaged their growing knowledge with our insensitivity?

Ok, holding your hands up in the air when singing at church is also something I think should be private. Even I do that when i am home alone, but at a church it is inappropriate, in my opinion. However, Andrew is right.. if only on this point it IS about a persons motives. I think that this act is something that a minister or anyone really, in a church judges the congregation on. If you look out and see every hand raised Im sure most people who only look at the surface would think that everyone was into all the singing and stuff, and if they didnt see any of them they would think everyone was asleep or drunk or maybe just not a christian anymore. This is a VERY shallow thing to judge people on. family backgrounds and personal backgrounds have a LOT to do with why someone does this or not. I think that the shallowness of it is pretty much a reason NOT to do it. Some people may even do it just to show off- isnt that admirable?

I believe when the bible said not to make any graven image that included crosses! I believe that a method of execution has no place hanging on a wall in a church or dangling from someones body parts. I have often considered finding a charm of an electric chair to hang around my neck to prove a point. NO GRAVEN IMAGE. If you need a cross to remind you about the god you serve you are not a very good servant!

Now, Im sure this will be shocking but I dont believe in Satan! Or atleast in the same way that so many others do. I do not believe that he runs around tempting everyone to kill themselves or rob a bank. I believe he is there, but has no power and is somewhat irrelevant. He was never GOD, he always had less power than him, so why do so many christians suddenly want to believe he has almost equal power? The evil being that tempts us to do bad things is ourselves! Humans have free will and so obviously sometimes we will choose to do the wrong thing. Now, why give the devil credit for your own stupidity? Im sure he'd like it too! Stop empowering something that has no more power than you do yourself! I think that this popular image of the devil was made up by a man who wanted to believe he was some sort of powerful enemy that you need to overcome- to satisfy his boyhood dreams of 'slaying the dragon' or catching the bad guys.

Above all, I am conservative- but that is what i think we are supposed to be. I dont think we are supposed to be advertising our individual holiness. I love the idea of someone sitting on a mountain overlooking all that god created and having a conversation with him. Like a best friend. Like someone that you tell everything to and cry to and arent scared around. I love the idea of sitting in a cottage thing with andrew and a dog and having complete faith that everything is going to be okay. My image of perfect christianity is far from what I see in pentacostal churches. Im sure that it is far from what I would see in any church.

I wrote all of that awhile ago, and I still hold those opinions, however I have more evidence to back those opinions now, after about a year. This blog isnt about that extra evidence. It is about the need for a denomination. I have survived my whole life attending churches that did not hold the same opinions on the details as I hold. This fact has just illustrated to me that denominations are not as significant as some people think. Really, the only division I find relevant in christianity is the Catholic/Protestant seperation. I am, and always will be a fan of the reformation, due to the high level of corruption present and historically weaved into the Catholic Church.
Seperations between groups like the Methodists, Anglicans, Baptists, Pentecostals, Lutherans, and Christadelphians seem pointless to me. These groups have such slight differences with each other that its a job to actually discover them! So, Im basically saying that denominations are stupid. Everyone has a slightly different opinion when given the chance to put thought into what they're hearing... there could be billions of different denominations all because God gave us an imagination and descernment.
I certainly have a different opinion to most, and Ive been involved in churches that disagree with is all my life. Ive been apart of Alexandra Hills Church of Christ, Cleveland Baptist, The Rock Christian Church (Pentacostal)and Bayside Christian Family Church (Apostolic), and I hold one of the most different and passionate opinions on the details of christianity of anyone I have come into contact with so far.

I love passionate essays :)

Colours dilemma.

I have previously decided on Purple bridesmaid dresses, with the secondary colour being green. I think Ive changed my mind :)

I like green as the main colour now, and I think its better for a day wedding anyway.

Proposal

I love talking about my wedding planning etc.
So I will write this story down here before I forget it, because I find myself forgetting bits of it all the time.
Ok, So for the previous week Andrew managed to convince me and then unconvince me repeatedly that I would have a diamond by Saturday the 2nd of August.
First he would say ' we should both get the night off' and id get all excited and then he'd say' oh, it doesn't really matter'. So I woke up on Saturday morning confused and slightly annoyed. But I chose to think of it as a relaxing day with Andrew, and I thought that if that was all I got out of it, it wouldnt be wasted at all!
So he picked me up on Saturday morning and we went to wynnum. We went to a second hand bookshop and I bought a book Ive been wanting for ages. Then we went for a walk along the waterfront.
As we were getting out of the car, I followed andrew to the boot because he 'had to put something away' he stood there with the boot open for ages untill I walked away! haha. While we were walking Andrew kept making me do things like climbing childrens play equipment, swinging on the swings and standing in different positions. It must not have seemed right to him because next thing I knew we were back in the car, going to visit Matthew. This made me think he wasnt going to propose that day- who goes to his friend's house before he proposes to his girlfriend? We were there for awhile, during which time Andrew spilled all his lemon lime and bitters on his gear stick and steering wheel.
After leaving Matt we drove to Hawthorne and got on a city cat. We got off the city cat at southbank, bought some lollies and walked all the way across the bridge to the botanical gardens. We sat up a tree for awhile, and this is where I thought he was going to do it- I would have loved to be proposed to in a tree!
We got out of the tree when these strange men started looking at un as though we were the strange ones. We made our way back across the bridge, went to boost and then got back on the city cat. So, basically it was 3:00 and still no proposal.

So, we got back in the car and drove to my house... I think I fell asleep on the way. Anyway, I knew we were going to the courthouse resturaunt that night so we got changed and sat on my bed for awhile. We talked about Mel and Rhys wedding, which was the next saturday and I said that I hope I dont get really jealous that Im not engaged, while watching their wedding. Andrew said " you wont". :) Anyway, Andrew wanted to pray, and Id never done that with him before, so I was kind of nervous but I did it anyway. We went to the courthouse resturaunt and it was really yum- except for the cocktail Andrew made me drink- Chocolate Bunny :( Its sad that it has such a nice name.I think I just hate alcahol.

Andrew got a text message halfway through our dinner from Ben, and he texted back saying that I was getting drunk- I deffinately wasnt!We got up and paid, and Andrew spent AGES in the toilet. We drove to one of the little raby bay beaches and I really didnt want to get out because it was so dark, but I did anyway. There was a funny little man with a bag of what looked like orange peels walking along the path...It was kind of like he was a murderer disposing of the evidence.
We walked to the beach and then Andrew said he had to run back and 'take off his shoes'. We were standing on the beach (we could only tell it was the beach because it felt like sand- couldnt see a thing!) and Andrew said " I love you" and I said " I love you too".
Then there was a long gap and I thought, ok he'll do it soon. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" at that I though, hes DEFFINATELY going to do it. Then he got down on one knee, though I could hardly see what he was doing. I was smiling so hard now, and he said "Will you marry me". :):):)I can't remember what I said straight away, but I do remember saying YES. Although Apparently he didnt hear because after lots of hugging he said "So, that's a 'yes', right?" We had to run back to the car so I could see the ring and it is the best one I've ever seen. I couldn't have chosen a better one.

We rang my mum first, and then his... his mums reaction was 'thats odd'. She wanted to know where Andrew got the money from-haha. We rang my dad next, and then All our friends. Afterwards Andrew informs me that he'd decided if I didnt pray with him he wasn't going to do it that day... :) lucky I did!This day was the best ever! I love my ring!

Engagement Party!