Mrs?

Not being a feminist or having any extraordinary connection to my last name, I always knew it would change once I was married.
Mine and Andrew's last names are very similar in that neither of them would actually be our last names if only blood was considered. You see, my last name is actually my step grandfathers name. Andrews last name is the surname of his fathers adoptive parents. I have a very untraditional family (which is becoming even more common). I kind of always expected to marry someone who had a long running surname that represented a dynasty of honourable and christian marriages. I wanted to love and be so excited about my new last name, to have it in decorated block letters along a mantel.

It took me ages to get used to, but now Ive realised something. Just because the name hasnt had the sort of history I always wanted (one of godly, honourable and happy marriages) doesnt mean it can't in the future!
So Ive decided that from our wedding day, Im going to work at creating the sort of marriage that I can be proud of, Im going to have a wonderful christian marriage and create a surname that I will be proud to have. It will be kind of like a new start, after all, nothing and no one in this world is perfect.

Damn Eve!

Menstration.

Its a horrible word, the connotations of which often make my stomach clench and forces me to count how many days are left untill I have to endure it again. I had a completely normal period for about two years. However, when I was 15 I got my period at school and thought nothing of it untill I started to get the worst cramps of my life! I went to the sick room to go home, and my two friends Angela and Jo came with me. I had to get Angela to do all the talking because I couldnt speak due to the pain. Then soething happened that had not happened due to my period up untill that time, but was a constant from then on.

I threw up.

There were lots of buckets in the sick room and I grabbed one quickly and vomited.

When I got home It happened about 3 more times.

It was so gross.

Ever since then Ive been vomiting probably 70% of the times I get my period.

My record is 9 times in about 2 hours.

ve been put on Naprogesic and Ponstan and both stopped working after awhile.

So now im on...

Levlen Ed... The Pill.
I only started yesterday.

Ive always thought it was completely unnatural and to be avoided at all costs, but I also knew that there was no way I was going to risk getting those cramps on my wedding day! So, all along I knew Id be going on it around January 2010. Ive started it early because the Ponstan stopped working. I hate the thought of controlling something that God created for us to endure... but then I also have the thought of... well, he created doctors etc to invent medicine and maybe for people like me its ok? I dont know... all I know is that that pain is TERRIBLE, and I can't keep going home from work because of it.

So, Im on the pill.
I just really hope its not like 'playing God'.
I suppose intentions have to be considered too, and I do have a pretty good reason to be on it.
Any thoughts?

I wish I had an excuse...

I dont.
I really wish I had been updating this blog recently, Im slack.
Our wedding is 7.5 months away and Im getting really excited. My to do list has been decreasing in size alot. Ive got my licence- which was a major worry to me through the early stage of this wedding planning.

My to do list now consists of a few little things that Im struggling to complete!

1. Florist - Im looking for a way to save money with this. Im thinking Ill get a real florist to do our bouquets and buttonholes, and then get flowers from a flower farm for the centrepieces.

2. The Cake - The item my fiance is most excited about :) He really wants to get a day off work to come cake tasting. I know exactly what I want... I just have to choose someone to do it.

I saw this cake in a 'Bride to Be' magazine.

3. Weight loss- Im pretty happy with my weight, but its also the heaviest Ive ever been and I would like to be a bit smaller, not just for my wedding, but for my marriage. I realise that Im 19 now and will almost certainly get bigger as my life goes on. For now, Id like to be about 8kg lighter. Awhile ago I was crazy about what I ate and I never missed a morning excercise session.

In 2007 I was at my thinnest. However, I was only 16 at the time the above photo was taken, so that could have a little bit to do with it. One bad thing about being that thin was that I kind of lost my boobs. At the time I thought it was fine, because I enjoyed being little, but now Id like to NOT lose my boobs... I mean, I am GETTING MARRIED.
This was me in May this year. I think I look fine and Im very happy with how I look in my engagement photos and certainly wont ever be hiding them because of my weight, but I really want to look GREAT in my wedding photos.
As I said, I think Im at a good weight now, but Id just like to be on top of it for my wedding so I can avoid putting on weight after I get married... because It would be pretty easy to do.

So, I have been doing things to help tick of this little 'to do'.
I dont have any spare money for a gym membership, so Ive started using excercise dvds. They're really good If you can ignore the overly excited voices of the instructors! Also, Ive been eating better and less.

These are the main things on my to do list at the moment, ofcourse there are going to be lots more shoved on there as time goes on, but hopefully I will have these out of the way before long.

So, overall Im really happy with life at the moment, except for my horrible forgetfulness about blogging, that is!

Narrow Sinus Passage.

That what I have.
It can't be fixed and Ill just have to live with it forever. Which sounds really doom full and bad, but with the other causes he gave as an example, Id much rather have this.

Basically, my sinuses are much narrower than most peoples, and the one on the left is narrower again. This causes the 'whooshing' in my left ear.

Im pretty happy with that outcome because the others were - tumours and anneurisms, anaemia, a thyroid problem or loss of hearing. Id rather have the thyroid problem or anaemia than what I have, as those are curable. However, Im really not upset about this because it hasnt been that bad recently and now I know what it is I can relax.

The doctor said that most people stop hearing it because they get so used to it!

:)

Wednesday 20th May 2009.

Im going to make a serious effort to blog daily. I think Ill regret it if I dont have documentation of this time in my life :) I love all my diaries from high school, so Im sure one day Ill love my old blog just as much.


Today I went to work and it was so quiet! Its been raining here non-stop for two days (which I love). We usually would have made about $1000 by 12pm but today we'd only made $250!!!

The view was excellent though, I love rain :)

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, so I hope it all goes okay. Ive been having this weird whooshing sound in my ear for about 3 months now, it can be really annoying. Ive had MRI's, blood tests and a hearing test and hopefully Ill find out whats wrong tomorrow!

Well, theres not too much to report at the moment... wedding planning is on hold for a bit because I was super organised at the beginning and now I have nothing to do! We have to organise the cake, videographer, hair and makeup, florist, transport and all of Andrews groom related things :). We have almost eleven months do it though! Mum and I are going to a bridal expo on Sunday after church though, so Ill probably be inspired after that!

Love, Emily.

Preparation.

Being newly engaged made me thinner.
I dont know if it was just me (probably) or if it was real, but when I looked in the mirror with that ring on my finger, for the first month I looked really good! hehe
Now, I have begun trying to eat nothing so I look really good on our wedding day, and honeymoon. I love eating nothing. I love the hungry feeling in my tummy. Havent noticed any effects of the starvation as yet, but Im in no hurry. Im being Ironic, or even sarcastic, by the way... Im not starving.


Preparing myself for getting married doesnt end with my weight. Its about marriage books, courses and also.... DRIVING. I have to get my licence. I hate the thought of it, but it has to happen. I was traumatised from previous failures but Im just going to have to get over it. So, today I drove to the Sunshine Coast! All the way... on the HIGHWAY! AAAH. I not only managed to survive, I also managed to cause mum to tell me I drove 'pretty well', although I did scare her a few times.


We drove to the Sunshine Coast to look at honeymoon places. Andrew and I have decided we want to go somewhere pretty close, so we've pretty much settled on the Sunshine Coast Hinterlands.


I have very specific expectations. Ideally, the honeymoon accommodation would have...
- An EXCELLENT view.
eg-

-A Spa with the same view

eg- -A fireplace

eg- -Kitchen/Kitchenette

eg- -Cuteness, in a cottagey, seperate way without be totally secluded.

eg- -A bed... it HAS to have a bed. Specifically, a nice big fluffy one.

eg-

So, thats pretty much it. Its not that much to ask for and I have found a few that match my specifications almost perfectly.

Yay.

I am...

excited.

That is the only word for how I feel right now. Our wedding is less than a year away, the major details are booked and now all I have to do is get imaginative and wait. It feels like a really icy wind on a hot day, it feels fresh and dreamy.

I am no longer the girl who has to wait ages before getting married. I am not the girl who is crazy organised and a bit of a bridezilla. I am an excited, happy, dizzy bride to be! I can say- "Im getting married next April"... Instead of "Im getting married in April 2010". I can count down without people thinking Im stupid for being so excited so soon. I can look through Bridal magazines for decorations, flowers and stationery, instead of venues and themes. I can inquire about honeymoons without getting emails back telling me to wait untill April 09 and ask again.

My excitement will only continue to grow, as I get closer and closer to marrying Andrew.

Whatever our souls are made of....